Speaking the Unspeakable – Part 1            

By Kim Sawyer

What is the one particular method of handling difficult conversations that managers throughout the business world have employed more than any other?  They avoid them.  People avoid difficult conversations because most of us, from an early age, have experienced any kind of confrontation as unpleasant.  They have typically involved angry emotions, hurt feelings, defensiveness, or tenseness and often resulted in a state of affairs worse than before the conversation started.

At other times, some people, in order to get past their resistance to these conversations, approach them with excessive forcefulness.  Then the confrontation comes across as an attack, a conflict which is the very fear that got us in this place to start with.

Words get spoken but, when it happens this way, the receiver gets defensive and defensive people are not listening.  If they are listening, they are not hearing (important distinction). If they are hearing, they are only hearing certain bits and filtering out other bits through their defensiveness.  Emotions are overruling their ability to take in and process the information in a useful way and certainly short-circuiting any willingness to act on the information.

This is not rocket science, but it's also not something most people think about when they do this (if they do).  The typical thought process goes something like this:  "I am going to have this conversation and I am going to say what I have to say as clearly as I can (or in whatever way has become my natural default in these situations). There; I'm done."  But did the message get across?  What difference did it make?  Are things going to be any different now because of the conversation, except, of course, for the newly disturbed relationships and often additional costly consequences when misunderstanding leads to misbehavior?

There is a powerful dictum that is pivotal to what we are up to here:  "The meaning of a communication is its meaning to the receiver."  Stop a moment; reread this proposition and consider it.

The fact is, it doesn't matter what it is I intend to say because I am not communicating to myself.  Communication is about information passing correctly from one person to another person; so whatever I may want to think, the understanding that person walks away with is what that communication has been.  And what's more, whose responsibility is it to make sure that occurs correctly?

Yes, mine!  The burden is wholly upon the initiator of the communication to see to it that the person with whom they have an objective for speaking gets the full and accurate content of their intended message.

I refer to this method I have developed as a form of "Leadership Communication". When I talk about leadership, I mean a way of interacting with people that attracts them to follow my lead.  It's not about making people do anything; it's about behaving in a way that people want to emulate or join me in.  In this communication tool, each step is about handling the next piece of the conversation so that it is likely to encourage you to respond in a positive way in the same spirit as the way I just communicated to you.

So I want to offer you an approach that will allow these conversations to happen collaboratively.  Next month, in Part 2, I am going to show you a method that I call “Clearing”.  It is a simple, powerful process I call “5 Step Communication”.  If you approach your difficult conversations using the method, the chances are good that the conversation will go as well as possible; oftentimes, surprisingly well.

Based in Houston, Texas, Kim Sawyer is a highly respected veteran, executive coach who serves clients internationally.  Kim can be reached by email at kim.sawyer@theWealthSource.com or by phone at 832-298-0143.  To find out more about Kim’s firm, theWeathSource, visit their website at www.theWealthSource.com.

How to Build Your Own Dream Team (753 words)

by Three-time Olympian Ruben Gonzalez

     When I decided to take up the luge and train for the Olympics I was 21 years old. Back then I thought I could make it to the Olympics all by myself. I still had a lot of growing up to do...

     In "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People," Steven Covey talks about three stages people go through - dependence, independence, and interdependence. At 21, I was still in the independent stage and needed to move on to becoming interdependent.

     Along the way I realized that I needed some help. In order to accomplish great things I was going to have to develop some leadership and people skills to build a team. Then I would have to work through the team to make my Olympic dream come true. I was going to have to turn singles luge into a team sport.

     It’s no different in any big project or endeavor. Lone Rangers never accomplish as much as people who work through teams.

     I like to keep things simple. I believe it takes only two things to be a good leader. It takes passion and integrity.

     If you are passionate about your mission, you will attract the people who are like minded; people who would like to be a part of your mission. I was passionate. I told everyone I talked to about my Olympic dream. Everyone! And I was excited about it. I was not wishy-washy. Other people had no doubt that I believed in and was committed to the dream.

     By doing that, whenever I talked to someone who was interested in the Olympics, I became their link to the Olympic Games. And many times they were willing to help me out. Believe me; I needed a lot of help.

     I needed financial help. It’s very expensive to be flying all over the world to train and compete. You’re also out of work for months at a time. Everyone thinks I have corporate sponsors. People ask me, "Ruben, who are your sponsors? Coke? Pepsi? Nike?" My sponsors were Visa and MasterCard baby! I put it all on the card. And after maxing out my credit cards, my family lent me tens of thousands of dollars. It's part of the price you pay to succeed.

     I needed medical help. Doctors, Chiropractors, and massage therapists that kept me healthy and patched me up after bad crashes.

     Finally, I needed spiritual help. I needed people who would keep my spirits up when I was struggling. Especially in the beginning. People who would keep me from quitting. The first year I was crashing four out of five times. It got to the point where even after crashing, it was going to be easier to get back on the sled than to come home and tell everyone I had quit. I couldn’t quit. I didn’t want to let the team down.

     My passion about the Olympic dream attracted people to me. I believe everyone has the capacity to be passionate about something. Unfortunately, most people keep their passion all bottled in. They don’t want to show their passion out of fear of what others might think. I didn’t care what others thought. I actually wanted to know who did not believe in me so I could stop associating with them.

     I made it a point to only spend time with my supporters. Doing so made me unstoppable.

     The first part of leadership is passion for the cause. The second part is integrity.

     Would you follow someone you don’t trust? Of course not! So if you want to be the leader and have others follow you, you need to be absolutely trustworthy. Your word is Gold. You keep your word. You start being very careful about what you promise. You must deliver on every promise. Every time you don’t, your credibility and your reputation will suffer.

     If you have passion for the cause and you are a person of integrity, you’ll be ahead of 95% of the people out there. People will be attracted to you, and you will be able to accomplish great things.

Ruben Gonzalez is an award-winning keynote speaker and the author of the critically acclaimed book, “The Courage to Succeed.”  His experiences as a three-time Olympian and as the owner of two businesses give him a unique perspective on how to conquer the corporate struggles of today. For his free 10-Part Success eCourse, visit www.StartWinningMore.com  or contact him at 832-689-8282.

City of Houston’s Hire Houston First Program

By Annise Parker, Mayor of the City of Houston 

The city of Houston spends billions of dollars to maintain and improve the city’s infrastructure and provide vital public services.  Ensuring that local companies (the life blood of our economy) have the opportunity to compete for city contracts has been a priority of my administration.

In the fall of 2011, my administration implemented Hire Houston First, a local preference program that provides contracting opportunities for homegrown businesses.  There is a domino impact on the local economy that far exceeds the direct benefits experienced by the companies that are winning city contracts.  It keeps your tax dollars working locally to generate jobs and pay for the purchase of goods and services.

There are currently more than 1,300 Hire Houston First designated companies. This is your opportunity to get answers to some of your questions about the program. 

What does Hire Houston First mean? 

In order to qualify, companies must meet at least one of two requirements:

1.      The company must be headquartered within Houston’s corporate city limits or within one of the 10 local counties of Harris, Brazoria, Chambers, Fort Bend, Galveston, Liberty, Montgomery, Waller, Austin, and San Jacinto.

2.      The company must have 20 percent or more of its workforce and a substantial part of its operations within the city limits or one of the 10 counties.

How is Hire Houston First implemented in the city of Houston’s procurement process?

Generally, Hire Houston First allows the award of contracts under $100,000 to a local firm if the local firm’s price is within five percent of the lowest bid from a non-Hire Houston First designated company.  For contracts exceeding $100,000, there can be no more than a three percent difference between the non-Hire Houston First designated company’s bid and the next highest offer from a Hire Houston First vendor.

Has the program been successful?

Last month, the city of Houston’s Office of Business Opportunity released the “Hire Houston First Progress Report” which details the program’s success during the reporting period of October 2011 through December 2013.

It was assumed that the designation would be necessary to give local companies a fair opportunity during the procurement process but we have found that Houston companies are competitive without using their Hire Houston First designation.  Highlights from the report include:

·        More than $1 billion dollars of the city of Houston’s business has been awarded to Hire Houston First firms

·        More than 1,300 companies have been designated as Hire Houston First, of which 424 have won city contracts

·        Hire Houston First companies support approximately 20,000 jobs in the Houston region

·        More than 50 Hire Houston First firms had never before secured a contract before their Hire Houston First designation

·        These companies collectively employ nearly 20,000 employees right here in Houston

To view the full report, visit www.houstontx.gov/obo and click on the “OBO Reports” tab.

Should I apply?

Even if you are not currently doing business with the city of Houston or have no plans to do so, you can apply and become a Hire Houston First designated company.  Visit www.houstontx.gov/obo and click on “Hire Houston First”.  The application is free and can be completed online.  If you have any questions, please contact the Office of Business Opportunity at 832-393-0600.

Serving since January 2, 2010, Annise D. Parker has been elected as the Mayor of Houston three times.  She is Houston’s 61st Mayor and one of only two women to hold the City’s highest elected office.  In 2010, Time Magazine named Mayor Parker one the 100 most influential people in the world.  Mayor Annise Parker is a Steering Committee Member of the C40 Cities Climate Leadership Group and serves on President Barack Obama’s State, Local, and Tribal Leaders Task Force on Climate Preparedness and Resilience.  She is also on the advisory board of Small Business Today Magazine.  For more information, go to www.houstontx.gov/mayor/.

Have You Checked Your “BP” Lately?

October Greetings Everyone!

Have you checked your “BP” lately?

No, I am not talking about checking your blood pressure (but good for you); I am referencing checking your Business Plan.

If you have not visited your business plan in the last year, it might be time to do so.

Business Plans are not just for the initial financing of your business.  More importantly, they are to chart your course for the days, weeks, and months to follow.  I have often heard that, “The only thing permanent is change” which is extremely applicable when it comes to your clients’ wants, needs, and preferences.  Are you keeping up with those changes?  If not, they may be searching for a company who is already “on top” of their needs.  Remember that your clients are your competitor’s prospects and vice versa.

Here are some suggestions of things you might start with:

•        Talk to your customers and get an update on how their business and their consumers have changed.

•        Talk to your staff (if any) and ask for their feedback and suggestions on the business (you may be surprised with what they know and think).

•        Visit your competitor’s websites and social media to discover how they have changed in meeting their consumer’s needs.

Remember “why” you created your business and understand that everything is subject to change without any notice.  Keep your focus on your dreams, be ready to make changes that need to be changed, and never give up.

Our cover honoree for our October 2014 issue, Emile “Chuck” Toups of the EFFORT Companies is a true visionary and dreamer whose business plans are always in motion, much like the race cars he has that are always winning.  Barbara and I were introduced to Emile and his companies by Sonia Clayton of Virtual Intelligence Providers.  Not only is Sonia on our Publisher’s Advisory Board, she is also a past cover honoree.  We have spent many hours getting to know Emile and listen to his dreams about his future plans, all of which incorporate what he values most - his GOD and his family, first and foremost.

It really was fun getting a chance to shoot the cover on the race track at MSR Houston with Emile’s two Porsche Race Cars of EFFORT RACING. 

I know you will enjoy Emile’s story and understand his message, “We Come to Win!”

If you are planning to attend the “Houston Small Business Expo” at the NRG Center on October 11^th, please drop by our booth at the show.  For more information, visit www.HoustonSmallBusinessExpo.com.  We will see you there!

Good Reading, Good Sales, and Great Success to You!

Respectfully,

Steve Levine

President & Executive Publisher

www.sbtmagazine.net

Business Networking & Sex – Not What You Think! 

By Gail Stolzenburg

When I was growing up, most women were homemakers and when they did get a job it was as a teacher, a secretary, or a nurse but seldom in sales.  Today, the workforce is divided almost evenly and according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, 12% of women in the workforce are in sales as compared to 11% of men in the workforce.  With such a level playing field, one might think that neither sex is more successful at networking but that is not the case.  As it turns out, women are! 

At a recent networking event, I observed men and women doing and saying things differently.  A man crushed a woman’s hand, bragged about his business, and asked about doing business together, although they had just met.  The woman asked what he liked about his business, if he had a family, who did he want to meet, and where else did he network.

That story pinpoints the major difference between the sexes:  Men are transactional and women are relational.  I know this is changing but it’s moving much too slowly.  Here is what I’ve learned over the years:

Women want to discuss problems                              Men want to solve problems               

Women are comfortable expressing their feelings        Men see feelings as a is sign of weakness

Women like to talk about issues                                    Men like to get to the source of the problem

Women build relationships                                                             Men demonstrate expertise

Women are better at sharing a dialogue                        Men are better at delivering a monologue

Women like to connect                                                     Men like to compartmentalize

Women want to immerse you in their world                Men want to give you just the bullet points      

 

This information is based on a survey that was conducted over a four year period of 12,000 business men and women (approx. 50/50 split) who were asked simple questions about business networking and sex.  The study is explained in “Business Networking & Sex, Not What You Think” by Dr. Ivan Misner, founder of BNI and coauthor of “Networking like a Pro” with Brian Hilliard.

For more information on the differences between the sexes and networking, one can gain insight from reading “Selling in a Skirt” by Judy Hoberman and “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” by Dr. John Gray.  I was on stage with John Gray last year.  My wife makes me correct that.  Actually I was in the audience and John Gray selected me to be one of his examples.  John Gray says, “Understanding the opposite sex in a new and positive light is the key to building lasting business relationships for increased success!”

Men can increase their success in networking with women by focusing on relationship building, dressing to please the female audience, and understanding that women are attending networking events to gain business not dates.  Treat them professionally.  Don’t hit on them!

Women can increase their success in networking with men by dressing professionally rather than wearing something that is more suitable for a date, treating networking as a business rather than as a hobby, and being more direct in asking to set an appointment to meet and discuss how they might benefit each other’s business needs.  

Stay tuned for next month’s column on the subject of Social Media Networking.

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Gail Stolzenburg, the Connector, can be contacted by email at Gail@GailStolzenburg.com, by phone at 281-493-1955, or visit his website at www.GailStolzenburg.com.

The Secret is the System

Part 1 of a 2 Part Series

By Howard Partridge

In last month’s column, I talked about “GPS” – getting you from where you are in your business to where you want to go.  GPS stands for Goals (where you’re going), Plans (how you’ll get there), and Systems (the vehicles that will take you there). 

Your business is a vehicle.  If you have more than one business, you have more than one vehicle.  A vehicle is a system or a set of systems. 

My good friend Michael Gerber, the world’s #1 small business expert according to Inc. Magazine, says “the secret is the system”.  He recognized that all phenomenally successful businesses have effective systems. 

If you have staff, you are probably familiar with the story of “Somebody, Everybody, and Nobody”:

Somebody was asked to do something that was the job of Everybody.  Everybody thought that Somebody was going to do it but Nobody did it.  When Nobody did it, Everybody asked why Somebody didn’t do it.  Somebody said it was the job of Everybody.  Everybody said it was Nobody’s job, therefore, Nobody did it.

Can you relate to this story?  Even if you don’t have staff, systems are critical to your business.  Here’s why -

• • The key to profitable growth

Have you ever seen companies that grow quickly only to discover that more money is going out than is coming in?  The bigger you get without systems, the more money is going out the door in reinventing every day.

• • Employees perform better

When your employees don’t have to depend on you to direct their every move because they have a system to work in, their performance increases.

• • Fewer surprises

Have you noticed that human beings do weird things?  The stuff people come up with sometimes is mind-boggling.  Like the time one of my clients had an employee who wrecked a company truck.  Instead of calling the owner and letting him know, he hid the truck behind his house and didn’t show up for work the next day.  Of course my client didn’t have systems in place then.  Now he does.  Don’t leave it to your employees to try and figure out the best thing to do.  Have a system.

• • Keeps the owner in line

I don’t know about you but I like to change things, update them, and try something new from time to time (okay, okay, maybe a little more often than that!).  As the owner, you may like to tinker with the system or decide which part of the system you feel like using that day.  You must be the example and follow the procedures yourself if you want your staff to follow them.

Many years ago in my service business, I went out to do an on-site presentation for a prospective client.  I assumed that the client wouldn’t buy and did not write up a proposal.  Instead, I just quoted a verbal price and left.  Sometime later, the prospect called to have the work done.  My salesperson looked high and low for the paperwork and finally in frustration asked the prospect if she was absolutely sure that our company was indeed the one that did the presentation. 

“Oh yes,” she said.  “A man drove up in a Lexus, looked around, and told me how much it would be!”  Of course my sales agent knew exactly who she was talking about—me, the owner; the one who decided not to follow the system that day! And of course there’s another lesson there too; don’t judge a prospect; do the proposal!

If you like to change things around and you have a team, they will be confused if you don’t inform them beforehand.  In addition, customers may also become confused.  When you change something, be sure to communicate it and update the system.

• • A consistent service experience

When you have a system, the customer knows exactly what to expect. McDonald’s is the “poster child” for systems because you get the same hamburger in Tokyo as you do in Paducah, Kentucky.  It may not be the best hamburger, but it’s the same hamburger.  It’s consistent because they have a system.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Howard Partridge, President of Phenomenal Products, Inc., is the author of 7 Secrets of a Phenomenal L.I.F.E. and 5 Secrets of a Phenomenal Business.  You can contact Howard by phone at 281-634-0404 or visit his website at www.HowardPartridge.com.

Making an Expo “Work!”

September greetings everyone!

I have always loved the month of September.

Growing up in Upstate New York, September signaled the end of summer (quite literally).  There was a crispness in the air in the morning.  The trees would start turning their magnificent array of colors and the sounds and smells in the air were quite different than the months prior.

Obviously, living in Houston, Texas, September is more like an extension of August, with the exception of the anticipation of the fall home & garden shows, craft shows, and (of course) business conferences and expos.

Several noteworthy conferences for small business owners and aspiring entrepreneurs in September and October are the Houston Minority Supplier Development Council’s Business Expo 2014 ( www.hmsdc.org), September 24th & 25th, the Transportation Diversity Council’s 1st Annual Southwest Transportation & Infrastructure Summit ( www.tdc-ntl.org ), October 10, 2014, and the Houston Small Business Expo (www.HoustonSmallBusinessExpo.com), October 11^th.  Small Business Today Magazine is indeed proud to be a media sponsor of all three of these events.

Whether you are an attendee or exhibitor at one of these or other business conferences this year, I don’t have to tell you that these conference and expos are huge investments for everyone (often requiring travel/lodging expenses, man hours, exhibit costs, promotional costs, etc., not to mention the price of attending the conference.  They can be a huge waste of time and money or be a major catalyst to growing your business; it just depends on what your purpose of being there is and your goals for the conference.  I am a veteran of hundreds of these both as an exhibitor and as an attendee.

Here is a list of some things that will make your attendance more profitable:

1.      Set your goal as to what you would ideally like to accomplish.

2.      Your pre-conference preparation will play a major role in your ability to reach those goals that you want to achieve while you are there.

3.      Connect through social media with those individuals who you are counting on meeting there.  Possibly arrange a pre- or post- meeting appointment.

4.      Take the time to visit with all the exhibitors.  Each are experts in their phase of your business and may have the answers to your immediate  needs and/or be an excellent source of referrals.

5.      “Be on a mission” while you are there.  Take advantage of every opportunity to connect with everyone.  You never know who may be in a position to aid your businesses growth into the coming year!

6.      For exhibitors, engage as many attendees in conversation as possible. Look and act like you are there to do business.

Conferences and expos can be an amazing source of business if you are committed to making them so!

If you are attending HMSDC’s Business Expo 2014, please come by our booths 525 and 624 and drop your business card in the bowl for a chance to win a $2,200 multi-media package.  We’d love to chat with you and you might also get to meet this month’s Cover Honoree, Martha Ceballos with ELP Enterprises Inc.  Martha is one of the recipients of HMSDC’s “Emerging 10” awards and is on this month’s cover with that award.

It is time to let you get started on this very special issue.

Good Reading, Good Sales, and Great Success to You,

Steve Levine

President & Executive Publisher

sbtmagazine.net