Business Networking & Sex – Not What You Think! 

By Gail Stolzenburg

When I was growing up, most women were homemakers and when they did get a job it was as a teacher, a secretary, or a nurse but seldom in sales.  Today, the workforce is divided almost evenly and according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, 12% of women in the workforce are in sales as compared to 11% of men in the workforce.  With such a level playing field, one might think that neither sex is more successful at networking but that is not the case.  As it turns out, women are! 

At a recent networking event, I observed men and women doing and saying things differently.  A man crushed a woman’s hand, bragged about his business, and asked about doing business together, although they had just met.  The woman asked what he liked about his business, if he had a family, who did he want to meet, and where else did he network.

That story pinpoints the major difference between the sexes:  Men are transactional and women are relational.  I know this is changing but it’s moving much too slowly.  Here is what I’ve learned over the years:

Women want to discuss problems                              Men want to solve problems               

Women are comfortable expressing their feelings        Men see feelings as a is sign of weakness

Women like to talk about issues                                    Men like to get to the source of the problem

Women build relationships                                                             Men demonstrate expertise

Women are better at sharing a dialogue                        Men are better at delivering a monologue

Women like to connect                                                     Men like to compartmentalize

Women want to immerse you in their world                Men want to give you just the bullet points      

 

This information is based on a survey that was conducted over a four year period of 12,000 business men and women (approx. 50/50 split) who were asked simple questions about business networking and sex.  The study is explained in “Business Networking & Sex, Not What You Think” by Dr. Ivan Misner, founder of BNI and coauthor of “Networking like a Pro” with Brian Hilliard.

For more information on the differences between the sexes and networking, one can gain insight from reading “Selling in a Skirt” by Judy Hoberman and “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” by Dr. John Gray.  I was on stage with John Gray last year.  My wife makes me correct that.  Actually I was in the audience and John Gray selected me to be one of his examples.  John Gray says, “Understanding the opposite sex in a new and positive light is the key to building lasting business relationships for increased success!”

Men can increase their success in networking with women by focusing on relationship building, dressing to please the female audience, and understanding that women are attending networking events to gain business not dates.  Treat them professionally.  Don’t hit on them!

Women can increase their success in networking with men by dressing professionally rather than wearing something that is more suitable for a date, treating networking as a business rather than as a hobby, and being more direct in asking to set an appointment to meet and discuss how they might benefit each other’s business needs.  

Stay tuned for next month’s column on the subject of Social Media Networking.

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Gail Stolzenburg, the Connector, can be contacted by email at Gail@GailStolzenburg.com, by phone at 281-493-1955, or visit his website at www.GailStolzenburg.com.