Speaking the Unspeakable – Part 1            

By Kim Sawyer

What is the one particular method of handling difficult conversations that managers throughout the business world have employed more than any other?  They avoid them.  People avoid difficult conversations because most of us, from an early age, have experienced any kind of confrontation as unpleasant.  They have typically involved angry emotions, hurt feelings, defensiveness, or tenseness and often resulted in a state of affairs worse than before the conversation started.

At other times, some people, in order to get past their resistance to these conversations, approach them with excessive forcefulness.  Then the confrontation comes across as an attack, a conflict which is the very fear that got us in this place to start with.

Words get spoken but, when it happens this way, the receiver gets defensive and defensive people are not listening.  If they are listening, they are not hearing (important distinction). If they are hearing, they are only hearing certain bits and filtering out other bits through their defensiveness.  Emotions are overruling their ability to take in and process the information in a useful way and certainly short-circuiting any willingness to act on the information.

This is not rocket science, but it's also not something most people think about when they do this (if they do).  The typical thought process goes something like this:  "I am going to have this conversation and I am going to say what I have to say as clearly as I can (or in whatever way has become my natural default in these situations). There; I'm done."  But did the message get across?  What difference did it make?  Are things going to be any different now because of the conversation, except, of course, for the newly disturbed relationships and often additional costly consequences when misunderstanding leads to misbehavior?

There is a powerful dictum that is pivotal to what we are up to here:  "The meaning of a communication is its meaning to the receiver."  Stop a moment; reread this proposition and consider it.

The fact is, it doesn't matter what it is I intend to say because I am not communicating to myself.  Communication is about information passing correctly from one person to another person; so whatever I may want to think, the understanding that person walks away with is what that communication has been.  And what's more, whose responsibility is it to make sure that occurs correctly?

Yes, mine!  The burden is wholly upon the initiator of the communication to see to it that the person with whom they have an objective for speaking gets the full and accurate content of their intended message.

I refer to this method I have developed as a form of "Leadership Communication". When I talk about leadership, I mean a way of interacting with people that attracts them to follow my lead.  It's not about making people do anything; it's about behaving in a way that people want to emulate or join me in.  In this communication tool, each step is about handling the next piece of the conversation so that it is likely to encourage you to respond in a positive way in the same spirit as the way I just communicated to you.

So I want to offer you an approach that will allow these conversations to happen collaboratively.  Next month, in Part 2, I am going to show you a method that I call “Clearing”.  It is a simple, powerful process I call “5 Step Communication”.  If you approach your difficult conversations using the method, the chances are good that the conversation will go as well as possible; oftentimes, surprisingly well.

Based in Houston, Texas, Kim Sawyer is a highly respected veteran, executive coach who serves clients internationally.  Kim can be reached by email at kim.sawyer@theWealthSource.com or by phone at 832-298-0143.  To find out more about Kim’s firm, theWeathSource, visit their website at www.theWealthSource.com.

How to Build Your Own Dream Team (753 words)

by Three-time Olympian Ruben Gonzalez

     When I decided to take up the luge and train for the Olympics I was 21 years old. Back then I thought I could make it to the Olympics all by myself. I still had a lot of growing up to do...

     In "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People," Steven Covey talks about three stages people go through - dependence, independence, and interdependence. At 21, I was still in the independent stage and needed to move on to becoming interdependent.

     Along the way I realized that I needed some help. In order to accomplish great things I was going to have to develop some leadership and people skills to build a team. Then I would have to work through the team to make my Olympic dream come true. I was going to have to turn singles luge into a team sport.

     It’s no different in any big project or endeavor. Lone Rangers never accomplish as much as people who work through teams.

     I like to keep things simple. I believe it takes only two things to be a good leader. It takes passion and integrity.

     If you are passionate about your mission, you will attract the people who are like minded; people who would like to be a part of your mission. I was passionate. I told everyone I talked to about my Olympic dream. Everyone! And I was excited about it. I was not wishy-washy. Other people had no doubt that I believed in and was committed to the dream.

     By doing that, whenever I talked to someone who was interested in the Olympics, I became their link to the Olympic Games. And many times they were willing to help me out. Believe me; I needed a lot of help.

     I needed financial help. It’s very expensive to be flying all over the world to train and compete. You’re also out of work for months at a time. Everyone thinks I have corporate sponsors. People ask me, "Ruben, who are your sponsors? Coke? Pepsi? Nike?" My sponsors were Visa and MasterCard baby! I put it all on the card. And after maxing out my credit cards, my family lent me tens of thousands of dollars. It's part of the price you pay to succeed.

     I needed medical help. Doctors, Chiropractors, and massage therapists that kept me healthy and patched me up after bad crashes.

     Finally, I needed spiritual help. I needed people who would keep my spirits up when I was struggling. Especially in the beginning. People who would keep me from quitting. The first year I was crashing four out of five times. It got to the point where even after crashing, it was going to be easier to get back on the sled than to come home and tell everyone I had quit. I couldn’t quit. I didn’t want to let the team down.

     My passion about the Olympic dream attracted people to me. I believe everyone has the capacity to be passionate about something. Unfortunately, most people keep their passion all bottled in. They don’t want to show their passion out of fear of what others might think. I didn’t care what others thought. I actually wanted to know who did not believe in me so I could stop associating with them.

     I made it a point to only spend time with my supporters. Doing so made me unstoppable.

     The first part of leadership is passion for the cause. The second part is integrity.

     Would you follow someone you don’t trust? Of course not! So if you want to be the leader and have others follow you, you need to be absolutely trustworthy. Your word is Gold. You keep your word. You start being very careful about what you promise. You must deliver on every promise. Every time you don’t, your credibility and your reputation will suffer.

     If you have passion for the cause and you are a person of integrity, you’ll be ahead of 95% of the people out there. People will be attracted to you, and you will be able to accomplish great things.

Ruben Gonzalez is an award-winning keynote speaker and the author of the critically acclaimed book, “The Courage to Succeed.”  His experiences as a three-time Olympian and as the owner of two businesses give him a unique perspective on how to conquer the corporate struggles of today. For his free 10-Part Success eCourse, visit www.StartWinningMore.com  or contact him at 832-689-8282.

City of Houston’s Hire Houston First Program

By Annise Parker, Mayor of the City of Houston 

The city of Houston spends billions of dollars to maintain and improve the city’s infrastructure and provide vital public services.  Ensuring that local companies (the life blood of our economy) have the opportunity to compete for city contracts has been a priority of my administration.

In the fall of 2011, my administration implemented Hire Houston First, a local preference program that provides contracting opportunities for homegrown businesses.  There is a domino impact on the local economy that far exceeds the direct benefits experienced by the companies that are winning city contracts.  It keeps your tax dollars working locally to generate jobs and pay for the purchase of goods and services.

There are currently more than 1,300 Hire Houston First designated companies. This is your opportunity to get answers to some of your questions about the program. 

What does Hire Houston First mean? 

In order to qualify, companies must meet at least one of two requirements:

1.      The company must be headquartered within Houston’s corporate city limits or within one of the 10 local counties of Harris, Brazoria, Chambers, Fort Bend, Galveston, Liberty, Montgomery, Waller, Austin, and San Jacinto.

2.      The company must have 20 percent or more of its workforce and a substantial part of its operations within the city limits or one of the 10 counties.

How is Hire Houston First implemented in the city of Houston’s procurement process?

Generally, Hire Houston First allows the award of contracts under $100,000 to a local firm if the local firm’s price is within five percent of the lowest bid from a non-Hire Houston First designated company.  For contracts exceeding $100,000, there can be no more than a three percent difference between the non-Hire Houston First designated company’s bid and the next highest offer from a Hire Houston First vendor.

Has the program been successful?

Last month, the city of Houston’s Office of Business Opportunity released the “Hire Houston First Progress Report” which details the program’s success during the reporting period of October 2011 through December 2013.

It was assumed that the designation would be necessary to give local companies a fair opportunity during the procurement process but we have found that Houston companies are competitive without using their Hire Houston First designation.  Highlights from the report include:

·        More than $1 billion dollars of the city of Houston’s business has been awarded to Hire Houston First firms

·        More than 1,300 companies have been designated as Hire Houston First, of which 424 have won city contracts

·        Hire Houston First companies support approximately 20,000 jobs in the Houston region

·        More than 50 Hire Houston First firms had never before secured a contract before their Hire Houston First designation

·        These companies collectively employ nearly 20,000 employees right here in Houston

To view the full report, visit www.houstontx.gov/obo and click on the “OBO Reports” tab.

Should I apply?

Even if you are not currently doing business with the city of Houston or have no plans to do so, you can apply and become a Hire Houston First designated company.  Visit www.houstontx.gov/obo and click on “Hire Houston First”.  The application is free and can be completed online.  If you have any questions, please contact the Office of Business Opportunity at 832-393-0600.

Serving since January 2, 2010, Annise D. Parker has been elected as the Mayor of Houston three times.  She is Houston’s 61st Mayor and one of only two women to hold the City’s highest elected office.  In 2010, Time Magazine named Mayor Parker one the 100 most influential people in the world.  Mayor Annise Parker is a Steering Committee Member of the C40 Cities Climate Leadership Group and serves on President Barack Obama’s State, Local, and Tribal Leaders Task Force on Climate Preparedness and Resilience.  She is also on the advisory board of Small Business Today Magazine.  For more information, go to www.houstontx.gov/mayor/.

Have You Checked Your “BP” Lately?

October Greetings Everyone!

Have you checked your “BP” lately?

No, I am not talking about checking your blood pressure (but good for you); I am referencing checking your Business Plan.

If you have not visited your business plan in the last year, it might be time to do so.

Business Plans are not just for the initial financing of your business.  More importantly, they are to chart your course for the days, weeks, and months to follow.  I have often heard that, “The only thing permanent is change” which is extremely applicable when it comes to your clients’ wants, needs, and preferences.  Are you keeping up with those changes?  If not, they may be searching for a company who is already “on top” of their needs.  Remember that your clients are your competitor’s prospects and vice versa.

Here are some suggestions of things you might start with:

•        Talk to your customers and get an update on how their business and their consumers have changed.

•        Talk to your staff (if any) and ask for their feedback and suggestions on the business (you may be surprised with what they know and think).

•        Visit your competitor’s websites and social media to discover how they have changed in meeting their consumer’s needs.

Remember “why” you created your business and understand that everything is subject to change without any notice.  Keep your focus on your dreams, be ready to make changes that need to be changed, and never give up.

Our cover honoree for our October 2014 issue, Emile “Chuck” Toups of the EFFORT Companies is a true visionary and dreamer whose business plans are always in motion, much like the race cars he has that are always winning.  Barbara and I were introduced to Emile and his companies by Sonia Clayton of Virtual Intelligence Providers.  Not only is Sonia on our Publisher’s Advisory Board, she is also a past cover honoree.  We have spent many hours getting to know Emile and listen to his dreams about his future plans, all of which incorporate what he values most - his GOD and his family, first and foremost.

It really was fun getting a chance to shoot the cover on the race track at MSR Houston with Emile’s two Porsche Race Cars of EFFORT RACING. 

I know you will enjoy Emile’s story and understand his message, “We Come to Win!”

If you are planning to attend the “Houston Small Business Expo” at the NRG Center on October 11^th, please drop by our booth at the show.  For more information, visit www.HoustonSmallBusinessExpo.com.  We will see you there!

Good Reading, Good Sales, and Great Success to You!

Respectfully,

Steve Levine

President & Executive Publisher

www.sbtmagazine.net